How do we get peace?

4 Steps for Peace of Mind

[Lecture Notes with Add-Ons]

STEP 1: Move from Adharma to Dharma = "Clean up your act."

Give up unethical actions, anything which I feel ashamed of, even if others don't know about it. At least according to one's own conscience, and checking with what is moral and decent according to the society and times.

Make up your mind, "I have done wrong, I will not do it again. I repent for that and move into a dharmic way of life"

It is possible to be philosophical, intellectual and have subtle spiritual practices and experiences and yet lose track of ethics, the non-glamorous hard part of spiritual life. Swami Vivekananda gives so much emphasis on character development. It is the ground of all religions. It is the beginning and for the longest time it is about ethics.

Missing Moral Limbs

One man wanted to learn Patanjali yoga and went to a sadhu to learn meditation. The sadhu instructed "First of all, yama and niyama. You have to be non-violent and self-controlled..." The man interrupted "Yeah, yeah we learned those in school. I want to learn how to sit and breath, the proper postures, asanas and pranayama. The swami replied, "Do you want to learn the 8-limbed yoga or a handicapped yoga?"

It is like hiding black money under the bed, undeclared income, not paying dues, and then covering up with a nice meditation mat. Would you be able to concentrate in meditation?

When we slip into sin, the whole of our spiritual progress will be destroyed, having to start back on square one if we lack foundations on dharma.

Do everything ethically, not violating any laws, leading a normal decent life.

With tears, my eyes are fixed on seeing God,
in God I withdraw in private.
כִּ֚י אֵלֶ֨יךָ | יֱהֹוִ֣ה אֲדֹנָ֣י עֵינָ֑י בְּכָ֥ה חָ֜סִ֗יתִי אַל־תְּעַ֥ר נַפְשִֽׁי:
Psalm 141:8

• Desire for God is not counted as kama.

• Only aim is self-realization. Desire only God.

• Without any raga राग dvesha द्वेष, likes and dislikes.

• Desirelessness does not mean having no purpose or goal at all.

• Always fixed on God as the goal, aiming nothing else but salvation/freedom in the Lord.

Work done with kama (lust for the world) results in unhappiness.
Work done with mumukshu (desire for liberation) and bhakti (worship of God) removes kama (ungodly desires) and brings peace of mind.

We have no peace when we fret about the world, anxious of specific desires, needs, demands from life. Sticking to our own program and agendas would make us unhappy as many things are beyond our control.

Wanting more and more money, gadgets, houses, this and that experience.
Wanting kids, then send them to best school and ivy league college, not minding what the kids want.

Step 2: NishKama - desirelessness | Karma Yoga - unselfish work

"As the deer pants for the water,
so my soul longs for God."
כְּאַיָּ֗ל תַּֽעֲרֹ֥ג עַל־אֲפִיקֵי־מָ֑יִם כֵּ֚ן נַפְשִׁ֨י תַֽעֲרֹ֖ג אֵלֶ֣יךָ אֱלֹהִֽים
Psalm 42:2

The world is passing away,
along with its desires
but he who serves God
is one with God forever.
1 John 2:17

What good is it for someone
to gain the whole world,
yet forfeit the Atman?

Mark 8:36

Gratitude for whatever comes. Trusting God it's all for the best.

Grasping onto what is not yours, you are stealing, like a thief who wants more than what you have —life [consciousness]. —Jay Litvin

Whether or not things goes our way, whether or not God's children whom we served were doing well, whatever service we have done God's children is worship of God, after that it's the Lord's will what the results will be, what will happen or not happen.

युक्तः कर्मफलं त्यक्त्वा शान्तिमाप्नोति नैष्ठिकीम्

yuktaḥ karmaphalaṃ tyaktvā śāntimāpnoti naiṣṭhikīm

अयुक्तः कामकारेण फले सक्तो निबध्यते

ayuktaḥ kāmakāreṇa phale sakto nibadhyate

yukta युक्त - karma yogi
tyaktva त्यक्त्वा - giving up, no hankering
karmaphalam कर्मफलं - specific results from work

- translation by Swami Vireshwarananda

"The harmonized one giving up the fruit of action attains the highest peace. The non-harmonized one working under the sway of desire, attached to the fruit gets bound by it."

"You are grasping, trying to hold onto what is not yours.
You are stealing; you have become a thief who wants more than what has been given you...
You are alive now? Isn't that enough?...
Do you divide your life into pleasure and pain?
Whether it meets your expectations or not?
Whether it is good or bad by some definition you have artificially arrived at?
Whether the face that G‑d presents to you is one you like or not?...
Have you created categories of cruelty and kindness?
Kudged them and put them in columns called Life/Not Life; G‑d/Not G‑d?
Does not it all come from the same source?...
Or do you look to things like fair and not fair? Do you feel you deserve more or less?"

-Jay Litvin, in "Bitachon"

Footnote